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The way we interact with others is often motivated by psychological needs outside of our awareness. To meet these needs we tend to play certain “roles” in relationships, although the role we take on may change in different situations and with different people.
There are some commonalities in the roles that appear in people’s relationship dynamics. Stephen Karpman, a Transactional Analyst, recognised a pattern of interaction that he called the “Drama Triangle”. The Drama Triangle model is widely used in counselling and psychotherapy.
What is the Drama Triangle?
The Drama Triangle includes three roles: Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer.
- Victim: The victim either takes on or accepts the role of a mistreated, persecuted person.
- Persecutor: The persecutor pressures or bullies the victim.
- Rescuer: The rescuer rushes to defend the victim, protecting them from the persecutor.
The Drama Triangle is usually represented as a triangle with its point facing downward, with the persecutor and rescuer at the top and the victim at the bottom. This shows that the persecutor and rescuer both assume a position of power over the victim.
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Each of the roles needs the others in order to function and together they play a “game”. The roles do not necessarily represent the reality of each person’s place in the situation or their true level of power.
An individual may start at any position in the Drama Triangle. As the Drama Triangle unfolds, something surprising happens; the players switch roles. That may happen in several ways, but usually the victim becomes the persecutor.
The victim may become tired of being bullied and lash out at the persecutor. The rescuer’s assistance seemingly empowers the victim to retaliate even though the victim is usually capable of defending herself without the rescuer’s assistance. In this scenario, the victim and the persecutor “swap” roles.
Alternatively, the victim may begin to persecute the rescuer, “I don’t need your help! Stay out of it!”. The victim becomes the persecutor and pushes the rescuer into the victim role. The persecutor becomes the rescuer to keep the balance. The players all shift roles but there is always a victim, persecutor, and rescuer; all three are needed to maintain the Drama Triangle.
Each person involved in the Drama Triangle wants others to see them in a certain way and their starting role allows that to happen. The victim may want to attack the persecutor, but may not feel justified doing so unless it appears that they are retaliating against being victimised themselves. When they are a victim, their anger seems reasonable and acceptable. The person starting in the rescuer role may believe that they will only be loved if they are altruistic and taking care of others and want to be seen doing just that. The persecutor may have a need to feel or appear powerful and in control.
The Drama Triangle is a “game” rather than a genuine, open interaction. Each person in the Drama Triangle comes into the situation with an ulterior motive, whether or not they’re aware of it, and they all must be willing participants on some level for the triangle to form and be maintained. The Drama Triangle can also form in groups, with one or multiple people filling each of the roles.
Does the Drama Triangle sound familiar to you? What role do you usually take on first?
The team at Paul the Counsellor offers non-judgemental, confidential, and supportive counselling in the Melbourne CBD.
0458 090 687
paulthecounsellor@gmail.com
253 Lonsdale St, Melbourne VIC 3000