In vitro fertilisation, or IVF, can be a difficult process. It’s usually accompanied by very strong emotions. IVF provides the opportunity for many people to become parents who would otherwise not be able to have children, and often brings incredible joy for those who fall pregnant. It can also bring heartache, disappointment, and stress. For some people the ups and downs can be extreme. For women who have partners at the time, their partners and relationships are also very affected by the IVF process.
Undergoing IVF cycles can be both physically and emotionally taxing. “Failed” cycles (those that don’t end in pregnancy) are frequently met with disappointment and sadness. It can be made harder by the knowledge that for some people, IVF will not be successful.
Women and couples undergoing IVF may have to make some very difficult decisions about how many cycles they will attempt. Relationships can become tense if partners disagree on how long IVF should continue. The decision to stop IVF can lead a major sense of loss and emptiness. Although other people may not recognise or even know about the grief that goes along with ending IVF treatment, for some women and couples it can feel like losing a child. For more information about this see our post about disenfranchised grief.
For others, IVF will lead to pregnancy. Women who have succeeded in falling pregnant through IVF may experience some of the greatest joy of their lives, and relief that the process is over. The rewards of pregnancy and motherhood are often all the greater because it was so difficult to achieve.
Along with joy, it’s natural for women and their partners to feel frightened and nervous, as many first time parents do. Sometimes these feelings of apprehension and worry come as a surprise to couples who are finally able to fall pregnant through IVF. After all, they’ve finally achieved their goal – why do they have mixed feelings? They’re not alone in feeling joy and worry at the same time. It’s a natural part of the parenthood process for many people.
Women and couples undergoing the IVF process often find counselling to be an extremely helpful support during their journeys. Counsellors can be there through the whole roller coaster of emotions, sharing both the incredible moments of joy and the deep sadnesses that may accompany IVF. Counselling can also help to address some of the relationship strains that may occur through the IVF process and through the early stages of parenthood if it’s successful.
The team at Paul the Counsellor provides caring, non-judgemental and supportive counselling for women and couples going through the IVF process. If you live in Melbourne or the Greater Melbourne area please feel free to contact one of our counsellors to organise an appointment.
0458 090 687
paulthecounsellor@gmail.com
253 Lonsdale St, Melbourne VIC 300